Friday, April 3, 2009

Maybe I should re-title this...

Monthly dose of sunshine? 

Honestly, it is not due to a lack of desire to post. I love to write, love to type.  But I have made a concentrated effort to keep myself from sitting at this table, at this laptop.  I was going crazy reading the news, looking for jobs, etc.  I had to get away.  And when I got away, I found out that things weren't quite as bad as I thought they were...or maybe it is just that it wasn't screaming in my face from the pages of the web.  So, I limit the amount of time that I spend sitting here.  I do other things.  I do yard work in the back yard, and the front yard.  I clean the house, I do laundry.  I do yoga.  I work out.  I read.  I applied for a part-time retail job...literally just to get out of the house and get some kind of income coming in. And I got it!  And it's fun.  And I get to dress up and go out to the retail job every once in awhile and do something productive with others.  And I have been cooking a lot.  I am doing everything I can to make this as positive a situation as I can.  We aren't spending as much money, because I am cooking nearly every meal.  And we have both been skipping some meals too.  Not because we can't afford to eat, we have plenty of food.  I think for me it's more because I am realizing that I don't need to eat as much and for him it's partially lack of time.  I also like to think that it might also be because we are eating more nutritious food to begin with...so we have less need for the junk.  

And today I finally responded to some emails from friends.  Something that I have been putting off for awhile.  I know that their intentions are good and that they are only worried and want to know how I am doing and whether I have found a job.  It was just depressing to admit it, to have to tell them what I am doing.  But when I got the "permanent" job offer yesterday (from the company that I contracted with earlier in the year) the first thing I thought was...wow, how am I going to find the time to do all of the wonderful things that I have been packing in to my day for the last month or so?  That is huge to me.  The fact that I was able to step back from a horrible situation and make certain things in my life better even while another part of my life was falling apart.  There are a lot of articles in the news right now about keeping yourself sane while dealing with a job loss/the economy, etc, and I think in my own way I found what I need.  So I think I am trading yoga, yard work, maybe even some gardening for sitting at the laptop.  

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